Speed up loading ACLs on startup

[S7evinK]

Currently d.m.org struggles to start, as it is fetching several thousand ACLs on startup.
The reason is that we're loading the entire room state into memory, only to filter out the majority of it, because we only care about certain types.

This change filters the types (tuples) directly when querying the database, so we don't end up with unneeded state.

[codecov-commenter]

Codecov Report

Attention: Patch coverage is 68.18182% with 21 lines in your changes missing coverage. Please review.

Project coverage is 49.40%. Comparing base (556a5a9) to head (83a2c7d).
Report is 2 commits behind head on main.

Files with missing lines	Patch %	Lines
roomserver/storage/shared/storage.go	58.33%	13 Missing and 7 partials ⚠️
roomserver/acls/acls.go	94.44%	1 Missing ⚠️

Additional details and impacted files

@@            Coverage Diff             @@
##             main    #3469      +/-   ##
==========================================
- Coverage   49.42%   49.40%   -0.02%     
==========================================
  Files         524      524              
  Lines       59674    59737      +63     
==========================================
+ Hits        29493    29513      +20     
- Misses      26713    26743      +30     
- Partials     3468     3481      +13     

Flag	Coverage Δ
unittests	49.40% <68.18%> (-0.02%)	⬇️

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[S7evinK]

While I only tested this with the initial attempt of just replacing loadStateAtSnapshot with LoadStateAtSnapshotForStringTuples, the difference is quite obvious:

Only logging the duration:

// old
time="2024-12-19T10:58:27.882602160Z" level=info msg="Got 8 server ACLs in 82.324207ms"
// new
time="2024-12-19T10:58:48.503895143Z" level=info msg="Got 8 server ACLs in 42.418627ms"

Logging returned events per room:

// old
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.827393764Z" level=info msg="Got 99 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.828435599Z" level=info msg="Got 73 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.838359808Z" level=info msg="Got 1046 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.860218366Z" level=info msg="Got 8331 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.874318545Z" level=info msg="Got 4374 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.883133614Z" level=info msg="Got 1878 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.900711277Z" level=info msg="Got 4196 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:43.905420693Z" level=info msg="Got 342 state events"
// new
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.512421878Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.513694809Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.521480413Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.529054298Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.533625798Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.538014702Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.543541474Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"
time="2024-12-19T11:09:02.550731063Z" level=info msg="Got 1 state events"