sigs

You must understand, Preston, that while you and even 
i may not always agree with it, it is not the message 
that is important. It is our obedience to it.
 -- Officer in Charge, Equilibrium
%
Winners never quit, quitters never win.
And those who never quit and never win
are idiots.
%
About the Cisco IOS:
The help command doesn't.
%
I will listen to you,
especially when we disagree.
 -- Barack Obama
%
There are only 32 hours in the day, 
and for me, they are all filled.
 -- Don Norman
%
Det ser ut att bli glass till middag. Och rödvin. 
En av fördelarna med att vara vuxen.
 -- Peppe (http://tinyurl.com/493y5j)
%
Te audire no possum. 
Musa sapientum fixa 
est in aure.
%
All the women named after Marillion
songs are hot.
  -- Ed Braiter
%
I would think a Marillion fan would 
know better than to use record sales 
as a measuring stick for greatness.
  --Don Becker
%
The problem with X is that 
is is overadequate.
 -- Dennis Ritchie
%
here are 10 kinds of people.
Those who can count binary,
and those who can't.
%
På en skala ett till fem
får jag inte en enda poäng.
Det är inte mycket jag kan
som krävs av en modern man...
  -- Wilmer X (Tänk om, vänd om)
%
Ich will die Ruhe stören.
 -- Rammstein
%
This software comes with ABSOLUTELY 
NO WARRANTY. Even if it erases your 
hard drive, too bad. Although we fixed 
that bug in the last release.
 --DJGPP
%
I think I have become one of 
those days which you know that 
love can be as hard as love 
 - random quote at *nados
%
(On software engineering)
Cost, speed, reliability.
Pick any two. 
You can't have them all.
%
On musicans:
Good looks, good voice, good music.
Pick any two. 
You can't have them all.
%
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.
%
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
%
Don't get even -- get odd!
%
After humans discovered fire, 
they created flamethrowers.
  -- Marshall Brain
%
Whine, whine, whine.
Moan, moan, moan.
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Bad troll.  No cookie.
  -- Don Becker
%
Love thy neighbour,
tune thy piano.
%
Also, remember that if you get more serious, 
you'll almost surely want a second body. 
  -- photo.net
%
" We shall reach greater and greater
  platitudes of achievement. "
  -- Richard J. Daley
%
- How many people work here? 
- Oh, about half. 
%
To get something done, a committee
should consist of no more than three
people; two of them absent.
%
yo-yo, n.:
 Something that is occasionally up,
 but normally down (see also: computer)
%
You can blame the weight for being heavy,
or you can just LIFT it.
%
Your fault -- core dumped.
%
When everything else fails, 
read the instructions.
%
Support mental health. Or i'll kill you.
%
Save gas, don't eat beans.
%
When your logic doesn't work, you
raise your voice? You've been on
Earth too long.
 -- Capt. Archer to vulcan 
%
The meta-Turing test counts a thing 
as intelligent if it seeks to devise 
and apply Turing tests to objects of
its own creation. -- Lew Mammel, Jr.
%
If people are good only because they 
fear punishment, and hope for reward, 
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
  -- Albert Einstein
%
Things are not always what they seem.
  -- Phaedrus
%
War doesn't prove who's right,
just who's left.
%
Imagination is 
more important 
than knowledge.
  - Albert Einstein
%
C'mon, you know you'd love to 
see a Microsoft bug take out 
the whitehouse site, anyhow.
 -- Magic, re the worm.com worm
%
The way Microsoft does business
--one, protest; two, confuse; 
 and three, copy.
 - Margaret Lasecke, Oracle CC VP
%
Human error is a very 
common cause of problems.
%
A failure can also 
occur spontaneously.
%
You may not be able to 
solve the problem yourself.
%
Remember that random actions 
can make problems worse. 
These instructions will 
not solve all your problems.
%
Microsoft Manual of Style says that 
the indefinite article for acronyms 
should be chosen based on how the 
acronym is pronounced.
%
"God, I'm bored. 
Might as well be 
listening to Genesis"
 - Rick, The Young Ones
%
Tech acronyms: CPU -  
The expensive moron at the 
heart of your computer. 
(TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: Cu -
Symbol for copper in chemistry 
but not at Intel's HQ, where Cu 
is the symbol for aluminium. 
 (TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: DRAM -
Small drink of whisky. 
 (TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: DOJ - 
US government department which 
regularly says Microsoft is guilty. 
%
Tech acronyms: LAN -
 Capital of the country WAN. 
  (TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: PC -
Expensive machine which not only 
never seems to work properly but 
needs to be replaced every couple 
of years.  (TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: SDRAM -
Smaller drink of whisky than a DRAM 
  (TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: TIFF -
A file image that never 
stops arguing with you
   (TheRegister.co.uk)
%
Tech acronyms: VAR -
Value added reseller. 
A dealer who charges more 
than other dealers 
for the same thing. 
%
If PacMan had affected us as kids 
we'd be running around in dark rooms, 
munching pills and listening to 
electronic music. -j
%
"The more corrupt the state, 
the more numerous the laws."
  --Tacitus, The Annals
%
1.7GHz.  Its there. Unless you need it.
(The 1.7GHz Intel P4 has a heat 
protection system which cuts down
processor efficiency when overheated)
%
Panic is neither efficient nor fun. 
 -- Fredrik Lindqvist
%
Any device with an LCD on it is 
automatically cool, regardless of 
whether or not the device itself 
serves any useful purpose.
 -- John Stokes, arsTechnica.com
%
31.69 nHz = once a year
%
To most people solutions mean finding 
the answers but to chemists solutions
are things that are still all mixed up...
%
Actually officer, if you factor in 
the earth's rotation, we were all
speeding.
%
A red doorsign of a physics professor: 
'If this sign is blue, 
you're going too fast.'
%
Anoraknophobia. Prog-rock it isn't. 
Progressive it most certainly is.
  -- Steve Truman
%
Offend one of them --
and you offend them all.
  (the movie "Freaks")
%
" We can build a better product than Linux "
	-- Jim Allchin, Microsoft
%
" If Microsoft can build a better product
  than Linux, then why don't they? "
	-- Miranda of Userfriendly (dot org)
%
"There is always something enamoring about 
 thinking you can get something for free."
	--Jim Allchin, Microsoft
%
Let him who has no stone cast the first sin
%
Democratic communication has a high overhead.
  -- Baker/Mills (1972)
%
" Before you put a really dark background 
 on your web page, ask yourself this:
 Why is it so much harder to drive 
 at night than in the daytime? "  
  -- Henri de Toulouse-LaTech
%
"It compiles, SHIP IT!" 
-Overheard at Microsoft's development lab
%
Quick! Hide the womenfolk 
and small mammals!
 - ExplotationNow.com
%
Tourist Girl: And another thing, 
  your beer tastes like piss.
Short Bartender: We know. 
  We piss in it. (Desperado, 1995)
%
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
some poems rhyme,
others don't.
	- Paul Kantner
%
Live the moment and
smile at the opposition. 
It worries them!
       - Fish
%
"The opposite of love is not hate;
 it's indifference..."
         -Elie Wiesel
%
Yes, the millennium begins on 1 January 2001
but the party begins on 1 January 2000.
%
The ads will say: "You know it's
working because of all the error
messages."  --Dogbert (30.4.2000)
%
If somebody tells you the latest 
marillion single was half an hour 
long, agree.  Remind them it lasted
longer than E17's career.
   -- John Boye
%
"The Scroll Lock key apparently has
 one primary function now --
 to operate the Scroll Lock light."
   -- Jennifer 8. Lee, NY Times
%
"Among contemporary Web sites 
are some of the most unusable
software systems we have ever
encountered" --L.Constantine
%
``It's about people having a dream 
and the only thing holding them
back is their own incompetence.''
  -- Frank Oz (about Bowfinger)
%
What does New Age music sound like backwards?
New Age music.
%
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the sound.
%
The sole purpose in life
of alarm clocks is to ruin 
a good start to your day.
  -- Alex McLintock /pgg
%
A laundry basket can be quite good 
for muffling the sound of an alarm 
clock, but if you are really despe-
rate a brick wall will do as well.
  -- Alex McLintock /pgg
%
I haven't let the fact that I 
have no idea what I'm doing 
slow me down one bit.
  -- Jim Wells
%
Business would be great 
if it weren't for customers.
%
Programming would be easy 
if it weren't for users.
%
We don't need information
to form opinions.  
Where have you been? ;-)
  -- Lysa Whitt
%
Osta Opel ja kävele.
  -- Mika Pärkkä
%
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of 
your list of "things to do today".
That way, at least you'll get 
one thing done.
%
Everybody needs to
deviate from the norm
        -- N. Peart
%
You are so much nicer than me.
%
Any sufficiently advanced bug is
indistinguishable from a feature.
%
One of the major functions of skin is 
to keep people who look at you from 
throwing up. [Actual exam answer]
%
I hate No Doubt, but i get over it. 
(Misheard Chumbawamba: Tubthumping)
%
I got no job but I'm an opera fan 
(Misheard Chumbawamba: Tubthumping)
%
A Perl script is correct if it's 
halfway readable and gets the job
done before your boss fires you.
  - Larry Wall, "Programming Perl"
%
New football: Have all the teams sit down 
with pen & paper. The first team with a 
player who can spell their own name (without
looking at their shirts; that's cheating.) 
wins. Then again, it'd never end.  -Tricky
%
"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?"
"Because a sheep can hear 
 a zipper from a mile away"
%
In ancient Egypt cats were worshipped. 
Cats have never forgot that.
%
Scot to Brit: We dinna come acrrross 
the barder tae steal yerr sheep. We 
came acrross ta steal yer women. When 
we got a look at yerr women, *then* 
we stole yerr sheep!"
%
There are already enough web technology 
standards to sink a battleship. 
   - Eric Krock, Technology Evangelist
%
" The primary aim of a musician is music. 
  The primary aim of a professional 
  musician, however, is business.  Therefore, 
  do not become a professional musician unless 
  you have to. "   -- Robert Fripp
%
Art should never be measured,
but appreciated.
  - Marc Roy
%
Some advice: When in hole, stop digging.
  - Paul Black [@vf.vodafone.co.uk]
%
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me 
Than A Frontal Lobotomy.
(pw1.netcom.com/~plev/countrytitles.html)
%
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, 
But I Couldn't Spell "Yuck"
(pw1.netcom.com/~plev/countrytitles.html)
%
Mama Get The Hammer 
(There's A Fly On Papa's Head) 
[pw1.netcom.com/~plev/countrytitles.html]
%
This record is so horrible it sounds 
like an endless Marillion soundcheck.
  - by Jimmy Nicol, Q magazine
%
You know what else? You are among the 
people who make amazing things happen.
  (SpotLite 11-Aug-97)
%
FREE GRENDEL NOW!
%
Misheard lyrics from the real world, pt 1:
" No dog orgasms in the classroom.. "
    - Another Brick in the Wall pt 2
%
Misheard lyrics from the real world, pt 2:
" 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy.. "
    - Purple Haze
%
Misheard lyrics from the real world, pt 3:
" Where are the hobbits? "
    - Marillion: Fugazi
%
Misheard lyrics from the real world, pt 4:
" There's a bathroom on the right.. "
   - CCR: Bad Moon Rising
%
I love fish
	- Fish
%
Gravity sucks.
%
The truth is out there.
%
Amazing facts of language, part 21:
There is no single word for "yes" 
in Welsh.
%
"With every bomb shell that falls, 
 with every tank that rolls, 
 somebody somewhere makes a profit."
	-- Fish
%
"I demand that I may or 
 may not be Vroomfondel!" 
	-- Vroomfondel, HHG2G
%
"I don't want to die now! I've still 
 got a headache! I don't want to go 
 to heaven with a headache, I'd be 
 all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!" 
	-- Arthur Dent, HHG2G
%
"Space is big. Really big. You just won't 
 believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly 
 big it is. I mean, you may think it's a 
 long way down the road to the chemist, 
 but that's just peanuts to space. Listen..." 
%
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it." 
	-- Arthur, The HHG2tG
%
"Ford! There's an infinite number of monkeys 
 outside who want to talk to us about this 
 script for 'Hamlet' they've worked out." 
	-- Arthur, The HHG2tG
%
"No, no, Marvin, that's just fine, 
 really... just part of life." 
"Life, don't talk to me about life." 
	-- Somebody and Marvin, The HHG2tG
%
"Am I *busy*? Well, I've just got all these 
 bulldozers and things to lie in front of because 
 they'll knock my house down if I don't, but other 
 than that ...well, no, not especially, why?" 
	-- Arthur to Ford, The HHG2tG
%
"Can we drop your ego for a moment? This is 
 important." 
"If there's anything more important than my 
 ego around, I want it caught and shot now." 
	-- Ford and Zaphod, The HHG2tG
%
"Thank you for making a simple door very happy." 
"Funny, how just when you think life can't 
 possibly get any worse it suddenly does." 
	-- Door and Marvin, The HHG2tG
%
"Hey, this is terrific! Someone down 
 there is trying to kill us!" 
	-- Zaphod, The HHG2tG
%
- You just come along with me and have a 
  good time. The Galaxy's a fun place.
  You'll need to have this fish in your ear.
- I beg your pardon?" 
	-- Ford and Arthur, The HHG2tG
%
" Life, loathe it or ignore it, 
  you can't like it. " 
	-- Marvin, The HHG2tG
%
"Look, would it save you a lot of time 
 if I just gave up and went mad now?"
 	-- Arthur(?), The HHG2tG
%
"In the beginning the Universe was created. 
 This has made a lot of people very angry and 
 been widely regarded as a bad move." 
 -- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
%
"The _Guide_ is definitive. 
 Reality is frequently inaccurate." 
 -- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
%
"Listen, three eyes, don't you try to outweird 
 me, I get stranger things than you free with 
 my breakfast cereal." 
  -- Zaphod, The Restaurant ateot Universe
%
"Hey, where did you say this 
 building was flying to?" 
  -- Zaphod, The Restaurant at the 
     End of the Universe
%
"Go bang your heads together, four-eyes." 
   -- ?, The Restaurant at the 
      End of the Universe
%
"I think fish is nice, but then I think 
 that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?" 
  -- Wonko the Sane
%
"The Lord knows I am not a cruel man." 
"Ah! You say 'The Lord.' You believe in something!" 
"My cat, I call him The Lord. I am Kind to him."
  -- Wonko the Sane and agent
%
"They believe in 'peace, justice, morality,
 culture, sport, family life and the 
 obliteration of all other life forms.'" 
	-- Life, The Universe and Everything
%
"Yes, why stop now just when I'm hating it?" 
  -- Marvin, Life, The Universe and Everything
%
"The purpose of having the sun go low in the
 evenings, in the summer, especially in parks,
 is to make girls' breasts bob up and down more
 clearly to the eye." 
  -- So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish
%
"Life is like a grapefruit." 
	-- Arthur(?), So Long, 
	   and Thanks For All the Fish
%
Hey, it's okay to disagree.
   -JJ "The Jester.."
    (Sargent001@wcsub.ctstateu.edu)
%
May our differences always make 
the world a richer place,
	--J.Uski
%
Det tråkiga med tobak är att det förkortar
ens liv. [Dock,] den kortade delen av ens
liv.  		--Clorin
%
JJazz for president!
%
Keep on rocking in the free world
%
    MaskTrek -- The Final Frontear
http://www.hut.fi/~llauren/masktrek.html
%
PGP public key not used.
%
Mikä on todennäköisyys että hajoan
kurssille Mat-2.090?	-L
%
"Where are the Hobbits?"
	-- Ed Payne's wife on Fugazi
%
You can't sell out unless you sell albums, guys.
	-- Jon on Fish going commercial with Suits
%
> Tom of Tuxon: Did you know that 
> your name spelled backward is "Mot"?
Does this mean Tuxon is no x-ut (no 
exit), in reference to the play by Sartre?
--Daniel M Grothe <grot0012@gold.tc.umn.edu>
%
Yes, I think even the biggest Marillion 
fans should  have at least one song they 
truly can't stand.
  -- "Scott.Mikusko" <21922SM@msu.edu>
%
To paraphrase Butthead, "Suits sucks, but it 
sucks in a brand new way that's different than 
anything else has sucked before, so it's cool."
 -- Ed Pervin <0006704342@mcimail.com>
%
Maybe Fish is just too big and 
Scottish to disagree with!!
 -- James Osgood <jco100@tower.york.ac.uk>
%
Oh, Leigh!
	-- unknown
%
Dawn Patrol - Programmers who are
still at their terminals when you
return to work the next morning.
	--Wired (Jargon Watch)
%
Firefighters - Net users who try to put out 
"flame wars" early in their gestation.
	--Wired (Jargon Watch)
%
Going Postal - Euphemism for being totally
stressed out; losing it. Makes reference to the
unfortunate number of postal employees who have
snapped and gone on mass shooting rampages.
	--Wired (Jargon Watch)
%
I think Marillion and Fish, like chocolate and
peanut butter, were great together, but I'm glad
neither side perished without the other.
	--Lizardbreath <NINA%TOYVAX@Arizona.EDU>
%
JOIN || _       _  _  FAN
 THE ||(_|(_)|´(_'| ) CLUB
%
" I know engineers, they love 
  to change things.. " 
  -- Dr. McCoy, USS Enterprise
%
" It is, sometimes, a mistake to 
  climb, but it is ALWAYS a mistake 
  not to even make the attempt. " 
	-- Neil Gaiman
%
" Sometimes, when you fall, you wake 
  up, sometimes the fall kills you, 
  and sometimes, when you fall - you
  fly. "   -- Neil Gaiman
%
" You know, I've always wondered what 
  lies beneath death. "
" Yeah, everyone does, and in their time, 
  everyone gets to find out. "
   -- The Emperor and Death/Gaiman
%
Q:How many MicroSoft programmers
  do you need to change a lightbulb ?
A:None, they wait three months and then
  declare darkness as the new standard..
%
" ..or maybe you would like
  to be a fish "
	-- B. Crosby
%
Trying to correct a misunderstanding
by explanation doubles the amount
of misunderstandings by every
explantion given.            
%
Anything that happens, happens.
  -- HHG5: Mostly Harmless, Douglas Adams
%
Anything that, in happening, causes something
else to happen, causes something else to happen.
  -- HHG5: Mostly Harmless, Douglas Adams
%
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to
happen again, happens again.
  -- HHG5: Mostly Harmless, Douglas Adams
%
Those who have the power 
don't like to share it.
 -- Alain, Canadian Patent #1310575
    (alain@spindrift.qc.ca)
%
DON'T PANIC
  -- HHGttG, Megadodo Publications
%
The holocaust did happen - don't you deny it.
%
" To stand up and fight, I know we have 
  six million reasons"  -- Fish/White Russian
.
         *** STOP NEO-NAZIM NOW ***
%
" Tavataan, jos ei opita lukemaan kunnolla.. "
	-- jUski
%
" Vittuilu on elämän suola "
	--juski, the Big J
%
" Oh dear, I'm losing it "
	-Dan (stdn@vm.marist.edu)
%
" Näin tänään, huomenna voin olla jo sokea. "
	-- Juski, the Big J.
%
" Kommunikaatiossa, musiikillakin suoritettuna, 
  puolet on kiinni vastaanottajasta. "
	-- Juski, the Big J.
%
" One likes to beleive 
  in the freedom of music "
        -- Rush (Peart)
%
" I'm so happy, 
  'cos today I shaved my balls "
        -- Nirvana (live@Ruisrock)
%
Isle sea whut eye kahn due!
	-- Texas Bob or Eddie Froman
	   aka swbaker@vela.acs.oakland.edu
%
What was the phrase Tasha Yar hated the most?
"Insufficient Data"
%
	  EVERYTHING 
	   YOU KNOW
	   IS WRONG
          -- U2 (The Fly)
%
" Amambuka azothengisa izwe lakithi "
 	-- J Clegg
%
" Ye hum oh ye hum msme, bathini?
  Ngingenzani? "
	-- J Clegg
%
" Bayeza abfana bancane wema  /  Bapethe iqwasha, 
  bapethe bazooka  /  Bathi ``Sangena savuma thina, 
  lapha abazange bengena abzali bethu.  /  Nabdala, 
  bayasikhaela thina ngoba asinavoti'' "  (J Clegg)
%
" 'Zulu eliphezulu laikhona lalihleka
  kancane emoliva. "
	-- J Clegg
%
" Kungathiwani ngani banguni nahlangansia
  zonke izizwe.  Nahlangansia zonke izizwe 
  ngobuhle ubesehlulekile ubotha. "
	-- J Clegg
%
" It's your world so live in it "
     -- J Clegg
%
Remember the Jester
%
  MAR
  ILL
  ION
%
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
  AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
  aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! "
		-pf (The Trial)
%
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
  AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHMEN! "
	-- Marillion (Forgotten Sons)
%
" Kahdeksan kiloa hasista polttanut ankka on
  helppo ampua " --Ylioppilaslehti 18.4 1991
%
"  Miksi ryhdyin matemaatikoksi?  Vastauksen voi 
  tiivistää kahteen lauseeseen. Harrastin vuosia
  vuorikiipeilyä ilman apuvälineitä.  Lopulta se 
  ei tuntunut enää tarpeeksi haastavalta. " -HHH
%
	*******************************
	** JOIN THE LLAUREN FAN CLUB **
	*******************************
%
"They might be giants, they might be rain, 
 they might be heat, they might be frying 
 up a stalk of wheat,  they might be brain,  
 they might be washed, they might be 
 Dr Spock's back-up band" (www.tmbg.com)
%
" Moira Anderson, eat your heart out "
	-- Fish
%
GRENDEL: 2 pts Bacardi rum, 2 pts vodka, 2 pts
 Advocaat, 1 pt Cointreau, 1 pt Creme de Menthe,
 1 pt Blue Bols, 4 pts cream.  Mix in a pint,
 fill up with lemonade.  Drink at own risk.
%
" If you choose not to decide
  You still have made a choise. "
	- Rush (Freewill)
%
The rain forests of Brazil are chopped 
down at the speed of  one soccer field
every second.  Funny?
%
This is a fucking world.
	-- The Fucking World
%
Alla barnen stödde V{rldsnaturfonden
utom Amanda
hon sköt en panda
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen fick snöbollar i huvudet
utom Jan
han fick ett flygplan
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen lekte elektriker
utom Henning
han fick högsp{nning
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
%
Alla barnen andades bra under vattnet
utom Torkel
han hade glömt sin snorkel
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
%
Alla barnen gick på kasperteater
utom Josefin
hon gick på kokain
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
%
Alla barnen hade vacker musik i sitt öra
utom ]ke
han hade en stråke
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
%
Alla pojkarna gillade söta flickor
utom Tor
han gillade mor
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
%
Alla barne gick på bio
utom Roger
han gick på droger
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen hade v{nner
utom Frank
han stank
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen hade syfilis
utom Birgitta
henne ville ingen smitta
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen hade trevliga sommarjobb
utom Nora
hon var hora
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen {lskade med varandra
utom Lydia
hon hade klamydia
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen kom upp ur kvicksanden 
utom Ann
hon försvann
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barne stannade vid stupet
utom Leif och Linda
dom var blinda
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen såg telefonkiosken spr{ngas
utom Inga
hon skulle ju ringa
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen kom hem från simturen
utom Tina
hon simmade på en mina
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen fick BMX-cyklar
utom Isabell
hon fick en sm{ll
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen låg blodiga i poolen
utom Kai
han var haj
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen sålde jultidningar
utom Mark
han sålde knark
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
Alla barnen hade råg i ryggen
utom Max
han hade en sax
-- Måns Gahrton & Johan Unenge
 
* The best scenic turnouts are clearly 
  designated by highway signs reading
       NO STOPPING ANYTIME.
 
* Photographers fade faster than photographs.
 
* A new Hasselblad would take better pictures 
  than your present camera.
 
* 1/60 at f8 is the correct exposure 
  for ALL photographs.
 
* Color slide viewing cures insomnia.
 
* On any given tripod, 
  only two legs work properly.
 
* All B&W pictures eventually 
  fade into full color.
 
* Yes, Photographers Do It In The Dark...
  but they have to stop every thirty seconds 
  to agitate the developer.
 
* When Man creates a sharper lens, 
  Nature will create a fuzzier object.
 
* Fast films compensate for slow photographers
 
* Owning more than one lens assures that 
  you will always have the wrong lens on 
  the camera for any given picture.
 
Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  
Real programmers don't even know how to spell
quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke and palate-
scorching Szechwan food.
%
Real Programmers don't write specs.  Users
should be grateful for whatever they get.
They are lucky to get any program at all.
%
Real Programmers don't comment their code. 
If it was hard to write, it should be hard 
to understand and even harder to modify.
%
Real Programmers don't draw flowcharts. 
Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate's 
form of documentation.  Cavemen drew 
flowcharts; look how much it did for them.
%
Real Programmers don't read manuals. 
Reliance on a reference is a hallmark 
of the novice and the coward.
%
Real Programmers don't use PL/I.  PL/I is 
for insecure momma's boys who can't choose 
between Cobol and Fortran.
%
Real Programmers don't use APL, unless the 
whole program can be written on one line.
%
Real Programmers don't use LISP. 
Only effeminate programmers use
more parentheses than actual code.
%
Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. 
If any real programmers are around at 9 
a.m. it's because they were up all night.
%
Real Programmers think better 
when playing Adventure or Rogue.
%
Real Software Engineers eat quiche.
%
Real Users never know what they want, 
but they always know when your
program doesn't deliver it.
%
Real Users never use the Help key.
%
"Mulla ei ole osaa eikä arpaa demotehtävien 
 vaikeuteen. Mä olen kerjännyt
 polvillani helpompia tehtäviä."
        -HHH
%
"Hieno tehtävä tämä. Mä olen lähes 
 kyyneliin saakka liikuttunut 
 saadessani esittää tämän."
        -HHH
%
"Eiks tää nyt mene ihan hyvin?  Mä tein 
 hirveän määrän duunia miettiessäni, miten 
 esittäisin tämän. Hymyilkää vähän enemmän."
        -HHH
%
"Kivelä pitää seuraavat tietokoneharjoitukset,
 joten kaikki muistaa kammata sitten!"
        -HHH
%
"Minäkin olen vain ihminen, 
 vaikka ei sitä tässä aina huomaa."
        -HHH
%
"Hatusta vedetty ja Jumalan antama. 
 Tätä pitää katsoa ja nauttia." 
        -HHH
%
"Seuraava tehtävä on suorastaan 
 nautinto, konnuuksien hautausmaa."
        -HHH
%
SKK: "Siirryinkö mä yhtäkkiä paljon mielen-
 kiintoisempiin asioihin?  Nimittäin täällä 
 tuli huomattavan paljon hiljaisempaa."
Rivistä: "Robin lähti"
%
"Derivointi on tiedettä, 
 mutta integrointi on onnenkauppaa."
	-SKK
%
"Kohtalaisessa suossa ollaan."
        -SKK
%
   Onni on elämän asymptootti.
        -HHH
%
   Pienimmän määritelmä:
    -yksi on pienempi kuin muut
        -HHH
%
   Tilanteen vakavuus alkaa olla 
   itse kullekin selvä.
	-HHH
%
   Optimoinnissa:
    -hyvä yritys mutta jää historian unholaan
	-HHH
%
   Gammafunktion määritelmästä:
    -hivelee esteettistä silmää
    -katso, nauti ja ymmärrä
	-HHH
%
   Ihan kaikkea ei saa tehdä, 
   vaikka mieli tekisi
	-HHH
%
   Summausmerkistä integraaliksi
    -suuri askel ihmiskunnalle
	-HHH
%
   Miksi et opettelisi jo tänään sitä,
   mitä tarvitset huomenna
	-HHH
%
Star Trek Lives!
%
" I know engineers, they love 
  to change things.. " 
  -- Dr. McCoy, USS Enterprise
%
Live long and prosper.
    -- Spock, "Amok Time", stardate 3372.7.
%
Totally illogical, there was no chance.
 - Spock, "The Galileo Seven", stardate 2822.3
%
No problem is insoluble.
 -- Dr. Janet Wallace, "The Deadly Years", 
    stardate 3479.4
%
Men don't talk peace unless they're ready to
back it up with war.
-- Col. Green, "The Savage Curtain", sd 5906.4
%
Superior ability breeds superior ambition.
    -- Spock, "Space Seed", stardate 3141.9.
%
History tends to exaggerate.
 -- Col. Green, "The Savage Curtain", 
    stardate 5906.4.
%
Even historians fail to learn from history 
-- they repeat the same mistakes.
       John Gill, "Patterns of Force", 
       stardate 2534.7.
%
There's a way out of any cage.
  -- Captain Christopher Pike, "The Menagerie"
     ("The Cage"), stardate unknown.
%
Killing is stupid; useless!
  -- McCoy, "A Private Little War", 
    stardate 4211.8.
%
Prepare for tomorrow -- get ready.
    -- Edith Keeler, "The City On the Edge 
       of Forever", stardate unknown
%
Madness has no purpose.  Or reason.  
But it may have a goal.
    -- Spock, "The Alternative Factor",
       stardate 3088.7.
%
-What happened to the crewman? 
-The M-5 computer needed a new powersource; 
 the crewman merely got in the way.
 -- Kirk and Dr. R Daystrom, stardate 4731.3
%
Without followers, evil cannot spread.
    -- Spock, "And The Children Shall Lead", 
       stardate 5029.5.
%
Sometimes a man will tell his bartender 
things he'll never tell his doctor.
    -- Dr. Phillip Boyce, "The Menagerie" 
       ("The Cage"), stardate unknown.
%
There are always alternatives.
    -- Spock, "The Galileo Seven", 
       stardate 2822.3.
%
A Vulcan can no sooner be disloyal than he 
can exist without breathing.
   -- Kirk, "The Menagerie", stardate 3012.4.
%
Vulcans worship peace above all.
    -- McCoy, "Return to Tomorrow", 
       stardate 4768.3.
%
Emotions are alien to me.  I'm a scientist.
    -- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", 
       stardate 3417.3.
%
Vulcans never bluff.
    -- Spock, "The Doomsday Machine", 
       stardate 4202.1.
%
Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected.
    -- Spock, "The Squire of Gothos", 
       stardate 2124.5.
%
One does not thank logic.
    -- Sarek, "Journey to Babel", 
       stardate 3842.4.
%
You can't evaluate a man by logic alone.
    -- McCoy, "I, Mudd", stardate 4513.3.
%
It would be illogical to kill without reason.
    -- Spock, "Journey to Babel", 
       stardate 3842.4.
%
Only a fool fights in a burning house.
    -- Kank the Klingon, "Day of the Dove", 
       stardate unknown.
%
Actual war is a very messy business.  
Very, very messy business.
    -- Kirk, "A Taste of Armageddon", 
       stardate 3193.0.
%
No one wants war.
    -- Kirk, "Errand of Mercy", 
       stardate 3201.7.
%
Death.  Destruction.  Disease.  Horror.  
That's what war is all about.  That's 
what makes it a thing to be avoided.
    -- Kirk, "A Taste of Armageddon"
%
Conquest is easy.  Control is not.
    -- Kirk, "Mirror, Mirror", 
       stardate unknown.
%
Earth -- mother of the most beautiful 
women in the universe.
    -- Apollo, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" 
       stardate 3468.1.
%
Extreme feminine beauty is always disturbing.
    -- Spock, "The Cloud Minders", 
       stardate 5818.4.
%
You!  What PLANET is this?
    -- McCoy, "The City on the Edge of 
       Forever", stardate 3134.0.
%
Beam me up, Scotty!
This planet sucks!
%
No more blah, blah, blah!
    -- Kirk, "Miri", stardate 2713.6.
%
There is a multi-legged creature 
crawling on your shoulder.
    -- Spock, "A Taste of Armageddon", 
       stardate 3193.9.
%
That unit is a woman.
A mass of conflicting impulses.
    -- Spock and Nomad, "The Changeling", 
       stardate 3541.9.
%
Immortality consists largely of boredom.
    -- Zefrem Cochrane, "Metamorphosis", 
       stardate 3219.8.
%
I remind you that humans are only a tiny 
minority in this galaxy.
    -- Spock, "The Apple", stardate 3715.6.
%
Crazy way to travel.  Spreading a man's 
molecules all over the universe.
    -- McCoy, "Obsession", 3620.7.
%
All men are brothers.
    -- Kirk, "Bread and Circuses", 
       stardate 4040.9.
%
We all are vulnerable, in one way or another.
    -- Kirk, "Is There In Truth No Beauty?" 
       stardate 5630.7.
%
You [humans] are, after all, 
essentially irrational.
    -- Spock, "Metamorphosis", 
       stardate 3220.3.
%
A lie is a very poor way to say hello.
    -- Edith Keeler, "The City on the 
       Edge of Forever", stardate unknown.
%
"We're the weirdest monkeys ever."
-- Karl Lehenbauer
%
"People think it must be fun to be a 
 super genius, but they don't realize 
 how hard it is to put up with all the 
 idiots in the world" -- Calvin 
%
"Stupidity is the basic building block 
 of the universe." 
	-- Frank Zappa
%
"It takes a smart man to know 
 when he's stupid." 
	-- Barney Rubble
%
"A bit of tolerance is worth 
 a megabyte of flaming."
	-- Henry Spencer
%
When you don't have an education, 
you've got to use your brains.
	-- Anonymous
%
"We don't inherit the earth from our 
 ancestors, we borrow it from 
 our children."
	-- David Brower
%
"I believe I found the missing link 
 between animal and civilized man. 
 It is us."
	-- Konrad Lorenz
%
"It's OK to do the right thing... 
 as long as you don't get caught."
	-- The Lone Contractor
%
"Ignorance simplifies ANY problem."
	-- R. Lucke
%
"...what's the point of ... new technology if 
 you can't find some way to pervert it?"
   -- G. A. Effinger, "Marid Changes His Mind", 
      IASFM, 1/90
%
"What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?" 
said Pooh  "For I am an Bear of Very Little 
Brain, and long words bother me."
	-- A. A. Milne
%
"If your computer doesn't multitask, 
 it ain't shit."
	-- Cal Keegan
%
Software Engineering: 
How to program if you cannot. 
	-- Dijkstra
%
"If a machine can be made so that an idiot 
 can use it, then only an idiot will use it" 
	-- Tadao Ichikawa
%
"Will your long-winded speeches never end? 
 What ails you that you keep on arguing?"
	-- Job 16:3
%
Do de pope shit in de woods? 
-- Thing-Fish
%
Fan, här seglar man
-- Arne Anka
%
Ei hän ole kuollut; hän on tamperelainen
-- Juice Leskinen
%
The show's about to begin
%
Historien är strunt
-- Henry Ford
%
Högst uppe på spaghettin finns ett 
täcke av ost / jag satte köttbullen 
i halsen och då sade jag "host"
	-- Calvin
%
G'dye moya kneega
-- Bill Wilkinson
%
A spider wanders aimlessly within the warmth
of a shadow / Not the legal creature of border 
caves / But the poor, misguided, directionless 
familiar of some obscure Scottish poet  -- Fish
%
Din svets är som en Wettex
-- M Londen
%
Blubb
-- B C Enholm
%
Posers pose: Pressman
flash -- flash -- flash 
-- Fish
%
Vodka, vodka vill jag dricka 
Jag vill äta kaviar 
Jag vill älska russkij flicka 
Jag vill spy i samovar
%
Morons, I tell you
%
.no er'uoy daor eht egnahc ot emit llits 
s'ereht, nur gnol eht ni tub, yb og 
nac uoy shtap era ereht seY
nileppeZ deL --
%
Waiting for the prompt
<$e[c$e[1;57H$d $t$e[S$e[0m$p$g$e[1m>
-- Fish <eriksson>
%
Ch ch ch ch ch changes! 
-- David Bowie 
%
Den där frisyren täcker 
lobotomistygnen riktigt bra 
	-- Calvin
%
Fascinerande hur saker *orkar* skita 
sig bara för att fittas
%
"May the Force be with you"
-- Mark Hamill
%
Rock on; rock on, yeah yeah yeah! 
-- Marc Bolan
%
Yow! 
-- Brian Johnson
%
Oh, we were so young 
We didn't realize just what we've done
Oh, we were too young
-- Eurythmics
%
Städa städa varje fredag och så varje jul 
det tycker jag är kul
-- Pippi Långstrump
%
Ful, fyla flyga, ful! 
-- K Möller
%
What's green, got 6 legs and can 
kill you if it falls off a tree?
:
A pool table.
%
Tiffisi voit sulloa sinne, 
misseivät suolakurkut sihise
-- Aslak Kalsa
%
I don't have soul!!! I'm WHITE!!!
_ Allan Gyorke
%
It was a new day yesterday 
But it's an old day now 
-- Jethro Tull 
%
To err is human 
To screw things up irrevocably is divine
%
To loop is human 
To recurse is divine 
%
Vi är bara någonting som pengarna 
inbillar sig. 
 -- Hanno Lehtonen
%
Dey callin me Brown Moses, 
fo' dat is surely what I am 
 -- Frank Zappa: "Brown Moses"
%
The CIA denied it, which means it must be true
 -- Douglas Adams 
%
Throw away your typewriter and learn to use 
a word processor.  Word  processing is rela-
tively easy to learn and will increase your 
productivity enormously.  -- MicroEMACS manual
%
[Help file not on-line]
 -- Emacs
%
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
%
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
%
A professor is one who talks in 
someone else's sleep.
%
After all is said and done, 
usually more is said than done.
%
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
%
Always keep a record of data,
it indicates you've been working.
%
An atheist is a man with no 
invisible means of support.
%
An idea is not responsible for 
the people who believe in it.
%
As far as we know, our computer has 
never had an undetected error.
%
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
%
Avoid Asymmetry.
%
Basic is a high level languish.
%
Beware of quantum ducks:  
quark, quark.
%
Cheese is milk's great leap 
toward immortality.  
	--Clifton Fadiman
%
Clones are people two.
%
Common sense is very uncommon.
%
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
%
Don't believe it until you 
can eat it or spend it.
%
Don't debug standing up.  
It cuts your patience in half.
%
Don't panic.
%
 Don't Panic. 
%
Don't use hands to do things that can 
be done efficiently by the computer.
%
Everyone complains of his memory, 
no one of his judgement.
%
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
%
Experience is the name everyone gives 
to their mistakes.  -Oscar Wilde
%
Friction is a drag.
%
God made the integers; 
all else is the work of Man.
%
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
%
He is truly wise, who gains wisdom 
from another's mishap.
%
He who is good for making excuses 
is seldom good for anything else.
%
Skrattar sist som fattar sist  
	--llauren
%
Hummingbirds never remember 
the words to songs.
%
If a system doesn't have to be 
reliable, it can do anything else.
%
If it screams, it's not food.
%
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what 
happened to the rest of the rabbit?
%
If the code and the comments disagree, 
then both are probably wrong.
%
If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
%
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
%
If you lie to the computer, it will get you.
%
If you see an onion ring  -  answer it!
%
In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
%
Individualists unite!
%
Inside every large program there lurks 
a small one screaming to get out.
%
It always takes longer than you expect.
%
It has just been discovered that 
research causes cancer in rats.
%
It is easiest to suggest solutions when 
you know nothing about the problem
%
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
%
Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
%
No one is completely worthless.  
They can always serve as a bad example.
%
Please all, and you will please none.
%
Raising pet electric eels is gaining 
a lot of current popularity.
%
Reality is for people who 
can't face science fiction.
%
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
%
Smile!  It makes people wonder 
what you've been up to.
%
The latest thing in clothes is the 
girl you've been looking for.
%
The light at the end of the tunnel 
is probably an oncoming train.
%
Those of you who think you know everything 
are annoying those of us who do.
%
Time is nature's way of making sure that 
everything doesn't happen at once.
%
Traveler, there is no path.  
Paths are made by walking.
%
Walt Disney is in suspended animation.
%
What a strange game. 
The only winning move is not to play.
 -- WOPppeR, War Games
%
When in doubt, use brute force.
%
When you get there, 
there's no there there.
%
Wisdom is knowing what to do 
with what you know.
%
With a mind like yours, who needs a body?
%
You are just in time to be too late.
%
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
%
" You will be late from your own wedding "
	-- Arnel W Pattermore to me
" I'll be late for my own funeral "
	-- I
(nb: I was in time for my wedding :---)
%
You don't have mail.
%
You might have mail.
%
You've been leading a dog's life.  
Stay off the furniture.
%
Your boss will always be early 
when you're late and late when you're early.
%
*** Confucious say: 
 "Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."
%
Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more.
What Charlie thought was H O was H SO .
                          2       2  4
%
Def: CHOCLONIVEROUS (choc lo niv' r us) 
The habit of biting off the head of
a solid-chocolate Santa Claus first.
%
Def: CLUMFERT n. The invisible extra step 
at the top and bottom of a staircase. 
Usually materializes when one is carrying 
a large bag of groceries.
%
Def: ELECELLERATION n. The mistaken notion 
that the more you press an elevator button 
the faster it will arrive.
%
Def: HOZONE n. The place where one sock 
in every laundry load disappears to.
%
Def: IDIOT BOX n. The part of the 
envelope that tells a person where to 
place the stamp when they can't quite 
figure it out from themselves.
%
Def: THERMALOPHOBIA n. The fear when showering
that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, 
and scald you to death.
%
Of all my programming bugs, 80% are syntax 
errors. Of the remaining 20%, 80% are trivial
logic errors. Of the remaining 4%, 80% are 
pointer errors.  The remaining 0.8% are hard.
%
Q: How many consultants does it 
   take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a 
   week from Monday.
%
Q: How many feminists does it 
   take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!
%
Q: How many jugglers does it 
   take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes 
   at least three light bulbs.
%
Q: How many programmers does it 
   take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
%
Q: How many Zen masters does it 
   take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The true Zen answer is four. 
   One to change the bulb.
%
Q: What is the difference between 
   a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
%
Useful to know phrase when traveling Moslem
Arab areas #3:   "SHOMAEH FEKR TOMOMEH OEH
GOFTEH BANDE " -- "I agree with everything
you have ever said or thought in your life."
%
Useful to know phrase when traveling Moslem 
Arab areas #7: BALLI, BALLI, BALLI
"Whatever you say!"
%
When we think a thing, the thing we think is 
not the thing we think we think, but only the 
thing we think we think we think.
%
KNÄCK MIG tills jag blöder; 
det är ett språk som jag förstår
%
This system is now tweaked
%
The problem with making software idiot-proof is 
that the idiots are so damn clever.
 -- jbuck@ohm.berkeley.edu (Joe Buck)
%
If you want a shoulder to cry on, 
I've got one at home in the fridge. 
 -- alan@essex.ac.uk (Alan M Stanier)
%
Q: How many IBM cpu's does it take 
   to do a logical right shift?
A: 33.	1 to hold the bits and 
   32 to push the register.
%
> Tom of Tuxon: Did you know that 
> your name spelled backward is "Mot"?
Does this mean Tuxon is no x-ut (no 
exit), in reference to the play by Sartre?
--Daniel M Grothe <grot0012@gold.tc.umn.edu>
%
Yes, I think even the biggest Marillion 
fans should  have at least one song they 
truly can't stand.
  -- "Scott.Mikusko" <21922SM@msu.edu>
%
To paraphrase Butthead, "Suits sucks, but it 
sucks in a brand new way that's different than 
anything else has sucked before, so it's cool."
 -- Ed Pervin <0006704342@mcimail.com>
%
Maybe Fish is just too big and 
Scottish to disagree with!!
 -- James Osgood <jco100@tower.york.ac.uk>
%
Ich wollte ein Kühlshrank in 
meinen Arschloch haben.
%
Ich habe Sauerkraut in meine Lederhosen.
%
Political correctness gone absurd:
NASA once described the (tragic)
explosion of the Challenger Space 
Shuttle as "energetic disassembly".
%
It's good, but is it Prog?
%
Actors speak louder than words.
%
Paul: That looks like a big needle.
Dentist: It's the width that's 
important, not the length.
   (Paul.Black@vf.vodafone.co.uk)
%
The trouble with doing
something right 
the first time is that nobody   
appreciates how difficult it was.
%
It may be that your sole purpose in life 
is simply to serve as a warning to others.
%
The average woman would rather have 
beauty than brains, because the average 
man can see better than he can think.
%
To err is human, to meow feline.
%
To err is human, to moo bovine.
%
Deja Moo:  The feeling that 
you've heard this bull... before.
%
Black holes are where 
God divided by zero.
%
I was going to procrastinate, 
but I put it off.
%
If at first you don't succeed, 
skydiving is not for you.
%
Money can't buy happiness, 
but it sure makes misery 
easier to live with.
%
Laughing stock: cattle 
with a sense of humor.
%
Polynesia:  memory loss in parrots.
%
Oh Lord, give me patience... 
and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
%
I used to be indecisive.  
Now I'm not sure.
%
I couldn't repair your brakes, 
so I made your horn louder.
%
I used to have an open mind 
but my brains kept falling out.
%
Dyslexics of the world - untie!
%
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
%
A clean desk is a sign of 
a cluttered desk drawer.
%
All those who believe in 
psychokinesis, raise my hand.
%
Multitasking - screwing up 
several things at once.
%
If you can't convince them, 
confuse them.
%
Who is General Failure, and why is 
he trying to read my hard disk?
%
A day without sunshine 
is like night.
%
Smith & Wesson: The original 
point and click interface.
%
Let him/her who is
without sin 
cast the first banana
 - Jodie
%
" Some people walk
round with T-shirts 
that say, 'I've seen Marillion', but 
you'd have thought most people would 
want to keep that quiet" -Alexei Sayle
%
Hawkmoon 269.
Jyväskylä 278.
  (u2f)
%
One fine day --
the chaos subsides
(Brave - Marillion)
%
How to tell you're an email junkie
#1: You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the 
bathroom and stop to check your e-mail 
on the way back to bed.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#3: You name your children Eudora, 
Mozillia and Dotcom.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#4: You turn off your modem and get this 
awful empty feeling, like you just pulled 
the plug on a loved one.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#6: You decide to stay in college for 
an additional year or two, just for the 
free Internet access.
%
How to tell you're an email junkie
#8: You start using smileys 
in your snail mail.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#9: Your hard drive crashes. You haven't 
logged in  for two hours. You start to 
twitch. You pick up the phone and manually 
dial your ISP's access number. You try to 
hum to communicate with the modem. 
And you succeed.
%
How to tell you're an email junkie
#12: You start introducing yourself as 
"JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
%
How to tell you're an email junkie
#13: All of your friends have an
@ in their names.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#14: Your cat has its own home page.
%
How to tell you're an email junkie
#16: You check your mail. 
It says "no new messages." 
So you check it again.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#17: Your phone bill comes to your 
doorstep in a box.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie
#18: You don't know what sex three of your
closest friends are, because they have neutral
nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
%
How to tell you're a Net junkie 
#19: You move into a new house and 
decide to Netscape before you landscape.
%
How to tell you're an email junkie
#21: You start tilting your head 
sideways to smile.
%
"Reality is merely an illusion
 albeit a very persistent one."
   --Albert Einstein
%
Rocky Hogarth Picture Show
%
Windows 95 (n) - 32-bit extensions 
and a graphical shell for a 16-bit 
patch to an 8-bit operating system
originally coded for a 4-bit micro-
processor, written by a 2-bit company 
that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
%
No news is good news. 
No journalists is even better.
  - Nicholas Bentley
%
The futures so bright I need 
a welder's mask!!!
  - Fish
%
I AM A DICKHEAD and proud of it!
  (Fish-fan-inside-joke, fyi)
%
Did Arena's "lion" motif come from the
continued decomposition of "Silmarillion"?
  - Geoff Lewis
%
A supercomputer is a machine that
runs an endless loop in 2 seconds.
     (unknown)
%
Jerri, sug en buss.
   .. nicke
%
(The art of blackmailing)
- Do you have nude pictures of your wife?
- NO! No, I don't have that!
- Do you wanna buy some???
%
On occasion, Ian moved. Even Mark 
seemed surprised when he did.
 - Itchy reviewing Marillion concert
%
Those who look
shall seek.
  - unknown
%
"I realize I hold
the key to freedom.
I can not let my life
be ruled by threads"
              Fish
%
We're *not* the lead vocalists
of Marillion        --Phish
%
May the Tape be with you!
Jim and Tim - the duct tape guys.
%
Think twice before hitting that 
[Send] button.   
%
See, I remember that [the names of
the members of ABBA] from when I was 
11 years old. Whatever happened to all 
that math I learned in high school?
--Cyndi Glass <CGLASS@VUNET.VINU.EDU>
%
only one person I know has even heard 
of marillion--and he's Bengali.  
	--Static (Karl E. Olson)