LADX: more marin joke text

worlds/ladx/LADXR/patches/aesthetics.py

@@ -179,24 +179,10 @@ def noText(rom):
 
 def reduceMessageLengths(rom, rnd):
     # Into text from Marin. Got to go fast, so less text. (This intro text is very long)
-    rom.texts[0x01] = formatText(rnd.choice([
-        "Let's a go!",
-        "Remember, sword goes on A!",
-        "Avoid the heart piece of shame!",
-        "Marin? No, this is Zelda. Welcome to Hyrule",
-        "Why are you in my bed?",
-        "This is not a Mario game!",
-        "MuffinJets was here...",
-        "Remember, there are no bugs in LADX",
-        "#####, #####, you got to wake up!\nDinner is ready.",
-        "Go find the stepladder",
-        "Pizza power!",
-        "Eastmost penninsula is the secret",
-        "There is no cow level",
-        "You cannot lift rocks with your bear hands",
-        "Thank you, daid!",
-        "There, there now. Just relax. You've been asleep for almost nine hours now."
-    ]))
+    lines = open(os.path.join(os.path.dirname(__file__), "marin.txt"), "rb").readlines()
+    while lines[-1].strip() == b'':
+        lines.pop(-1)
+    rom.texts[0x01] = formatText(rnd.choice(lines).strip().decode("unicode_escape"))
 
     # Reduce length of a bunch of common texts
     rom.texts[0xEA] = formatText("You've got a Guardian Acorn!")

worlds/ladx/LADXR/patches/marin.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,335 @@
+Let's a go!
+Remember, sword goes on A!
+Remember, sword goes on B!
+It's pronounced Hydrocity Zone.
+Avoid the heart piece of shame!
+Marin? No, this is Zelda. Welcome to Hyrule
+Why are you in my bed?
+This is not a Mario game!
+Wait, I thought Daid was French!
+Is it spicefather or spaceotter?
+kbranch finally took a break!
+Baby seed ahead.
+Abandon all hope ye who enter here...
+Link... Open your eyes...\nWait, you're #####?
+Remember, there are no bugs in LADX.
+#####, #####, you got to wake up!\nDinner is ready.
+Go find the stepladder.
+Pizza power!
+Eastmost peninsula is the secret.
+There is no cow level.
+You cannot lift rocks with your bear hands.
+Don't worry, the doghouse was patched.
+The carpet whale isn't real, it can't hurt you.
+Isn't this a demake of Phantom Hourglass?
+Go try the LAS rando!
+Go try the Oracles rando!
+Go try Archipelago!
+Go try touching grass!
+Please leave my house.
+Trust me, this will be a 2 hour seed, max.
+This is still better than doing Dampe dungeons.
+They say that Marin can be found here.
+Stalfos are such boneheads.
+90 percent bug-free!
+404 Marin.personality not found.
+Idk man, works on my machine.
+Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon
+Trans rights!
+Support gay rights!\nAnd their lefts!
+Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAKE!!!
+Oh, you chose THESE settings?
+As seen on TV!
+May contain nuts.
+Limited edition!
+May contain RNG.
+Reticulating splines!
+Keyboard compatible!
+Teetsuuuuoooo!
+Kaaneeeedaaaa!
+Learn about allyship!
+This Marin text left intentionally blank.
+'Autological' is!
+Technoblade never dies!
+Thank you, CrystalSaver!
+Wait, LADX has a rando?
+Wait, how many Pokemon are there now?
+GOOD EMU
+Good luck finding the feather.
+Good luck finding the bracelets.
+Good luck finding the boots.
+Good luck finding your swords.
+Good luck finding the flippers.
+Good luck finding the rooster.
+Good luck finding the hookshot.
+Good luck finding the magic rod.
+It's not a fire rod.\nIt's a magic rod, it shoots magic.
+You should check the Seashell Mansion.
+Mt. Tamaranch
+WIND FISH IN NAME ONLY, FOR IT IS NEITHER.
+Stuck? Try Magpie!
+Ribbit! Ribbit! I'm Marin, on vocals!
+Try this rando at ladxr.daid.eu!
+He turned himself into a carpet whale!
+Which came first, the whale or the egg?
+Glan - Known Death and Taxes appreciator.
+Pokemon number 591.
+Would you?
+Sprinkle the desert skulls.
+Please don't curse in my Christian LADXR seed.
+... ... ... \n... ...smash.
+How was bedwetting practice?
+The Oracles decomp project is going well!
+#####, how do I download RAM?
+Is this a delayed April Fool's Joke?
+Play as if your footage will go in a\nSummoning Salt video.
+I hope you prepared for our date later.
+Isn't this the game where you date a seagull?
+You look pretty good for a guy who probably drowned.
+Remember, we race on Sundays.
+This randomizer was made possible by players like you. \n \n Thank you!
+Now with real fake doors!
+Now with real fake floors!
+You could be doing something productive right now.
+No eggs were harmed in the making of this game.
+I'm helping the goat, \ncatfishing Mr. Write is kinda the goal.
+There are actually two LADX randomizers.
+Did you actually dump this cart?
+You're not gonna cheat... \n ...right?
+Mamu's singing is so bad it wakes the dead.
+Don't forget the Richard picture.
+Are you sure you wanna do this?  I kinda like this island.
+SJ, BT, WW, OoB, HIJKLMNOP.
+5 dollars in the swear jar.  Now.
+#####, I promise this seed will be better than the last one.
+Want your name here?  Contribute to LADXR!
+Kappa
+HEY! \n \n LANGUAGE!
+I sell seashells on the seashore.
+Hey!  Are you even listening to me?
+Your stay will total 10,000 rupees.  I hope you have good insurance.
+I have like the biggest crush on you.  Will you get the hints now?
+Daid watches Matty for ideas. \nBlame her if things go wrong.
+'All of you are to blame.' -Daid
+Batman Contingency Plan: Link.  Step 1: Disguise yourself as a maiden to attract the young hero.
+I have flooded Koholint with a deadly neurotoxin.
+Ahh, General #####.
+Finally, Link's Awakening!
+Is the Wind Fish dreaming that he's sleeping in an egg?  Or is he dreaming that he's you?
+Save Koholint.  By destroying it.  Huh?  Don't ask me, I'm just a kid!
+There aren't enough women in this village to sustain a civilization.
+So does this game take place before or after Oracles?
+Have you tried the critically acclaimed MMORPG FINAL FANTASY XIV that has a free trial up to level 60 including the Heavensward expansion?
+The thumbs-up sign had been used by the Galactic Federation for ages. Me, I was known for giving the thumbs-down during briefing. I had my reasons, though... Commander Adam Malkovich was normally cool and not one to joke around, but he would end all of his mission briefings by saying, 'Any objections, Lady?'
+Hot hippos are near your location!
+#####, get up!  It's my turn in the bed!  Tarin's smells too much...
+Have you ever had a dream\nthat\nyo wa-\nyo had\nyo\nthat\nthat you could do anything?
+Next time, try a salad.
+seagull noises
+I'm telling you, YOU HAVE UNO, it came free with your Xbox!
+I'm telling you, YOU HAVE TRENDY, it came free with your Mabe!
+LADXR - Now with even more Marin quotes!
+You guys are spending more time adding Marin quotes than actually playing the game.
+NASA faked the moon.
+Doh, I missed!
+Beginning the seed in... 100\n99\n98\n97\n96\n...\nJust Kidding.
+Consider libre software!
+Consider a GNU/Linux installation!
+Now you're gonna tell me about how you need to get some instruments or maybe shells to hatch a whale out of an egg, right?  All you boys are the same...
+Oh hey #####!  I made pancakes!
+Oh hey #####!  I made breakfast!
+Alright Tarin, test subject number 142857 was a failure, give him the item and the memory drug and we'll try next time.
+Betcha 100 rupees that Tarin gives you a sword.
+Betcha 100 rupees that Tarin gives you the feather.
+Betcha 100 rupees that Tarin gives you a bracelet.
+Betcha 100 rupees that Tarin gives you the boots.
+Betcha 100 rupees that Tarin gives you the hookshot.
+Betcha 100 rupees that Tarin gives you the rod.
+You'd think that Madam MeowMeow would be a cat person.
+Look at you, with them dry lips.
+You are now manually breathing.  Hope that doesn't throw you off for this race.
+Lemme get a number nine, a number nine large, a number six, with extra dip...
+Tarin, the red-nosed deadbeat \nHad a mushroom addiction!
+I'm using tilt controls!
+SPLASH! \n \n \n ...Wait, you meant something else by 'splash text'?
+CRACKLE-FWOOSH!
+'Logic' is a strong word.
+They say that the go-to way for fixing things is just to add another one of me.
+gl hf
+Have you considered multi-classing as a THIEF?
+Don't call me Shirley
+WHY are you buying CLOTHES at the SOUP STORE?
+Believe it or not, this won't be the last time Link gets stranded on an island.
+Is this the real life?  Or is this just fantasy?
+To the owner of the white sedan, your lights are on.
+Now remade, in beautiful SD 2D!
+Animal Village in my seed \nMarin and rabbits, loop de loop.
+You seem totally entranced in Marin's appearance.
+House hippoes are very timid creatures and are rarely seen, but they will defend their territory if provoked.
+New goal! Close this seed, open the LADXR source code, and find the typo.
+All your base are belong to us
+Really?  Another seed?
+This seed brought to you by: the corners in the D2 boss room.
+Hey, THIEF!  Oh wait, you haven't done anything wrong... yet.
+Hello World
+With these hands, I give you life!
+I heard we're a subcommunity of FFR now.
+Try the Final Fantasy Randomizer!
+How soon should we start calling you THIEF?
+... Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
+YOUR AD HERE
+Did Matty give you this seed?  Yeesh, good luck.
+Yoooo I looked ahead into the spoiler log for this one...\n...\n...\n...good luck.
+Lemme check the spoiler log...\nOkay, cool, only the normal amount of stupid.
+Oh, you're alive.  Dang.  Guess I won't be needing THIS anymore.
+Now you're gonna go talk to my dad.  Gosh, boys are so predictable.
+Shoot, I WAS going to steal your kidneys while you were asleep.  Guess I'll have to find a moment when you don't expect me.
+You caught me, mid-suavamente!
+You'll be the bedwetting champion in no time.
+Link, stop doing that, this is the fifth time this week I've had to change the sheets!
+You mind napping in Not My Bed next time?
+Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
+Marin sayings will never be generated by AI.  Our community really is just that unfunny.
+skibidi toilet\n...\nYes, that joke WILL age well
+I have returned from the dead with copyright-compliant music!
+WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY THOUSAND-YEAR SLUMBER
+The wind... it is... blowing...
+Have I ever told you how much I hate sand?
+explosion.gif
+It is pronounced LADXR, not LADXR.
+Stop pronouncing it lah-decks.
+Someone once suggested to add all the nag messages all at once for me.
+Accidentally playing Song 2?  In front of the egg?  It's more likely than you think.
+Ladies and gentlemen?  We got him.
+Ladies and gentlemen?  We got her.
+Ladies and gentlemen?  We got 'em.
+What a wake up!  I thought you'd never Marin!  You were feeling a bit woozy and Zelda... What? Koholint?  No, my name's relief!  You must still be tossing.  You are on turning Island!
+...Zelda?  Oh Marin is it?  My apologies, thank you for saving me.  So I'm on Koholint Island?  Wait, where's my sword and shield?!
+Koholint?  More like kOWOlint.
+What? The Wind Fish will grant my wish literally?  I forsee nothing wrong happening with this.
+Hey Marin!  You woke me up from a fine nap!  ... Thanks a lot!  But now, I'll get my revenge!  Are you ready?!
+Why bother coming up with a funny quote?  You're just gonna mash through it anyway.
+something something whale something something dream something something adventure.
+Some people won't be able to see this message!
+If you're playing Archipelago and see this message, say hi to zig for me!
+I think it may be time to stop playing LADXR seeds.
+Rings do nothing unless worn!
+Thank you Link, but our Instruments are in another Dungeon.
+Are you sure you loaded the right seed?
+Is this even randomized?
+This seed brought to you by... Corners!
+To this day I still don't know if we inconvenienced the Mad Batter or not.
+Oh, hi #####
+People forgot I was playable in Hyrule Warriors
+Join our Discord.  Or else.
+Also try Minecraft!
+I see you're finally awake...
+OwO
+This is Todd Howard, and today I'm pleased to announce... The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the Nintendo Game Boy Color!
+Hey dummy!  Need a hint?  The power bracelet is... !! Whoops! There I go, talking too much again.
+Thank you for visiting Toronbo Shores featuring Mabe Village.  Don't forget your complimentary gift on the way out.
+They say that sand can be found in Yarna Desert.
+I got to see a previously unreleased cut yesterday.  It only cost me 200 rupees.  What a deal!
+Just let him sleep
+LADXR is going to be renamed X now.
+Did you hear this chart-topping song yet?  It's called Manbo's Mambo, it's so catchy!  OH!
+YOU DARE BRING LIGHT INTO MY LAIR?!?!  You must DIE!
+But enough talk!  Have at you!
+Please input your age for optimal meme-text delivery.
+So the bear is just calling the walrus fat beecause he's projecting, right?
+Please help, #####!  The Nightmare has shuffled all the items around!
+One does not simply Wake the Wind Fish.
+Nothing unusual here, just a completely normal LADX game, Mister Nintendo.
+Remember:\n1) Play Vanilla\n2) Play Solo Rando\n3) Play Multi
+Is :) a good item?
+What version do we have anyway? 0.6.9?
+Hello. LADX is currently looking for a new maintainer. Please apply within.
+You are being issued a server strike for piracy.
+So, what &newgames are coming in the next AP version?
+Is !remaining fixed yet?
+Remember the APocalypse. Never forget the rooms we lost that day.
+Have you heard of Berserker's Multiworld?
+MILF. Man I love Fangames.
+How big can the Big Async be anyway? A hundred worlds?
+Have you heard of the After Dark server?
+Try Adventure!
+Try Aquaria!
+Try Blasphemous!
+Try Bomb Rush Cyberfunk!
+Try Bumper Stickers!
+Try Castlevania 64!
+Try Celeste 64!
+Try ChecksFinder!
+Try Clique!
+Try Dark Souls III!
+Try DLCQuest!
+Try Donkey Kong Country 3!
+Try DOOM 1993!
+Try DOOM II!
+Try Factorio!
+Try Final Fantasy!
+Try Final Fantasy Mystic Quest!
+Try A Hat in Time!
+Try Heretic!
+Try Hollow Knight!
+Try Hylics 2!
+Try Kingdom Hearts 2!
+Try Kirby's Dream Land 3!
+Try Landstalker - The Treasures of King Nole!
+Try The Legend of Zelda!
+Try Lingo!
+Try A Link to the Past!
+Try Links Awakening DX!
+Try Lufia II Ancient Cave!
+Try Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga!
+Try MegaMan Battle Network 3!
+Try Meritous!
+Try The Messenger!
+Try Minecraft!
+Try Muse Dash!
+Try Noita!
+Try Ocarina of Time!
+Try Overcooked! 2!
+Try Pokemon Emerald!
+Try Pokemon Red and Blue!
+Try Raft!
+Try Risk of Rain 2!
+Try Rogue Legacy!
+Try Secret of Evermore!
+Try Shivers!
+Try A Short Hike!
+Try Slay the Spire!
+Try SMZ3!
+Try Sonic Adventure 2 Battle!
+Try Starcraft 2!
+Try Stardew Valley!
+Try Subnautica!
+Try Sudoku!
+Try Super Mario 64!
+Try Super Mario World!
+Try Super Metroid!
+Try Terraria!
+Try Timespinner!
+Try TUNIC!
+Try Undertale!
+Try VVVVVV!
+Try Wargroove!
+Try The Witness!
+Try Yoshi's Island!
+Try Yu-Gi-Oh! 2006!
+Try Zillion!
+Try Zork Grand Inquisitor!
+Try Old School Runescape!
+Try Kingdom Hearts!
+Try Mega Man 2!
+Try Yacht Dice!
+VVVVVVVVVVVVVV this should be enough V right?
+If you see this message, please open a #bug-report about it\n\n\nDon't actually though.
+This YAML is going in the bucket, isn't it?
+Oh, this is a terrible seed for a Sync
+Oh, this is a terrible seed for an Async
+What does BK stand for anyway?
+Check out the #future-game-design forum
+This is actually a Free trial of the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, including the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award winning Heavensward and Stormblood expansions up to level 70 with no restrictions on playtime!
+Is it April yet? Can I play ArchipIDLE again?
+https://archipelago.gg/datapackage